You’d think given the intensity of the opening week that at some point things would start to calm down wouldn’t you?


No sooner has the door slammed on Bonnie, and no sooner has the rear door cracked shut on Shahbaz and Dawn then the knives it would seem are rapidly pulled for a fresh new target. Yes, the next one up for the metaphorical cold steel between the shoulder blades is none other than Nikki.

And lets be right, she asking for it.

Not content with her patently ridiculous tantrums over such things as makeup and drinking tap water she’s now picked a fight with Grace which on the whole is something that might not have been the best of ideas in the current climate. You see Grace at present has got what they call “back up”. George wants to shag her, Mikey wants to shag her and Sezar…erm…wants to shag anything. Now call that what you will, but in the twenty first century there’s nothing like keeping your options open and in fairness that’s what Grace appears to be doing.

Nikki on the other hand has done a pretty good job of alienating herself with her tantrums and tiaras style behaviour, sure she gets consolation off Pete but genial and wacky as he is, the guy doesn’t carry any serious weight in the manipulation stakes. He’s also too busy trying to unclamp the girl with the asphalt throat (Lisa, Mint!) off him to be concerned with anyone else.

Tonight as the housemates faced the prospect of a week without some of life’s more important things such as toilet rolls and shower gel, not to mention some of the healthier food groups. Nikki took it upon herself to throw another temper tantrum, complaining that the meal that had just been cooked for her by Grace was inedible (the salmon was simply too dry dah-ling).

This caused much consternation and sabre rattling in the house and just for a moment I suspected they might round on her in the way they did with Shahbaz days earlier. However this time cooler heads prevailed and the situation was brought off the boil and at the very least to a low simmer. Although I do suspect that Nikki’s card has been marked.

It would prove to be an eventful night for the housemates as they concluded their game show style task that had begun for them the day previously. This time it was Pete in the diary room answering questions on the other housemates. It has to be said he was on form, a mass of swirling bleeps, ticks and facial expressions that haven’t been seen since the closing credits of a Warner Bros cartoon. He answered his questions correctly and the housemates won themselves some prizes.

The first prize was of some note, they had managed to claw back pretty much everything they had lost in the previous quiz rounds meaning they had their toiletries and fruit and vegetables back in the house. The next prizes however were a little more elaborate.

In light of two housemates leaving by the backdoor in the first week someone had to make the numbers up. So the housemates managed to win themselves a couple of “newbies” to fill out their residence a little.

First up was Ashleen 27, a model and promotions girl (yawn) from London. Quite an obvious inductee with her conventionally pretty looks, dress and background. In this viewer’s eyes she’s little more than the ticking bomb designed to knock over the boy/girl relationships that have already started to cement themselves within the house. Secondly was Sam (a he who prefers to be known as a she) from Scotland. A nail technician gifted with a faux Americanised “question inflection “she tacks on to the end of every sentence. That and a fake tan the colour of dog meat, nice.

Of course this being early days means that there is no guarantee the newbies will face the wrath of the original housemates. If you remember in previous years new arrivals have faired badly and usually been cut adrift from the house the first time they have been eligible for nominations. This time however they are coming in early, so while the dynamics might change, the young might face a fighting chance of survival.

Watch this space.