Kicking off today’s single reviews is Mos Wanted Mega ft Janee with their opening single ‘Touch My’ (yes kids, it’s one of those singles). On the vocal front we’ve heard it all before, expect breathy “I’m getting a cheap fuck on the crates behind a pub” vocals, which are about as convincing as a phone sex worker at the end of her shift. The music is touted as grime but frankly to my ears it more a by the numbers house framework which is neither here nor there.


This track is almost saved by a suite of fairly good mixes, of particular note is Mr Majika’s excursion which downplays the vocal and heads off into deep and moody territory. Bless Beats meanwhile deliver a more strident mix which would fit nicely at the peak of a decent electro set. Flip & Spin provide the obligatory pop house mix which should suit the bright orange Sharons who will dance to this until the fake tan runs down their legs and they get felt up by some bloke called Gaz (who smells of kebab and has probably just glassed someone for looking at him funny).

Out August 16th

Next up is what feels like the millionth single from Flo Rida, this time he has roped in Nelly Furtado to shore up his latest offering. Actually her presence does distract from his mediocre patter but in truth any anonymous singer could have fulfilled her duties on the chorus (she actually sounds bored on this). Methinks the label realized this wasn’t a prime time track and used her name to bolster its potential chart credibility. It will of course be number one but then again selling eight singles to your Gran will get you into the top ten these days so that doesn’t count for a lot.

Out August 10th

Finally we have Team Waterpolo (possibly the worst band name in…ooh ages!). According to the press blurb they are ‘electro pop magicians from Preston’. Frankly if this single is anything to go by the magic didn’t just pass them by it looked at them from a distance and hid under a rock in order to avoid them. There is sadly nothing about this that could convince the listener there is any conviction in this band. A limp and floundering affair and one which I’m sure the band will look back on in time and say “Yep, that was bloody awful!”

Out August 24th