I have to say when I receive an album through the post then a rule of thumb is that I will either enthuse about it rabidly to the point where I bore my friends shitless and alienate those around me with newfound discovery. Alternatively I will take such a dislike to something that I would quite happily summon hellfire and damnation upon it if it were at all possible (which reminds me I still have a Pussycat Dolls CD to review).

This latest album by Leona Naess (called ‘Thirteens’ because there are 13 tracks) however falls into a new category altogether. Picture the scene, I was actually listening to this album without any distractions whatsoever, and yet Leona’s gentle acoustic meanderings just seemed to skate off the front of my brain and slide down the back of my chair without leaving any kind of impression at all.

Yes kids, this album truly is that fucking boring. With the best will in the world and a wealth of focus at your command its like looking at a snowflake on a white wall. There’s just nothing there that sticks, she sings in a manner that you have heard a thousand times before and noodles acoustically in much the same manner, there’s no one key ingredient that sticks out to say to you “this is good” or “this is bad”.

It just is.

I did find myself wondering what the motivations behind this record actually were, is Leona going for some kind of chart placing, is she another one of these “play my album at dinner parties” artists (I don’t even think Tarquin and Jocasta and their serving of Foie Gras would stand for this).

Its that bland that I am fully aware that even this review lacks any kind of vim and vigor.

Sod this, I’m going home…