By the time you read this you’ll probably be so stoked on Christmas food and general excess that you can barely shift your arse far enough to get to a computer never mind sit down long enough to digest any words on the screen. Still I’m here, and if you’re reading this you obviously made it this far.

So what did you think of Christmas telly this year?.

Of course there were no great surprises. The usual plethora of overly sickly and rich Christmas films are now so commonplace they actually drift past your eyes without even warranting a response for their presence. Still there was of course the odd glimmer in an otherwise lacklustre line up.

The soaps of course are always dependable for bringing out the big guns on Christmas day and Eastenders was no exception. I confess I’ve skipped the build-up to most of the storylines for the latter part of this year but I tuned in just in time to see the traditional Walford festival of woe and domestics over the turkey. The Max and Stacey plotline which has been brewing forever finally went critical as Max’s daughter finally showed the family the incriminating to the assembled throng who thought they were sitting down to watch Bradley and Stacey’s nuptials (technically they were, but Max was an easter egg on the DVD that nobody had thought of).

What followed was the usual bout of tears and trauma followed by it has to be said one of the finest on screen slaps across the face I’ve seen in recent years. Things either went too far on set or the makeup department were having a good day because Stacey was left with a tasty handprint on her face after the event.

Up North in Weatherfield it was all slightly less morose but all the same another big storyline was heading for the touchline as the Fizz/Rosie affair looked set to blow up in John’s face. It was all handled in a slightly more comedic fashion as John was caught out by the sheer misfortune of wrapping up the wrong presents. Hence Rosie wound up with a set of rather large pyjamas for Christmas while Fizz who is lets be fair the larger of the two wound up with a set of size zero style skimpies.

Hence there were rounds of false accusations as Fizz stormed round accusing Sally of being the “other woman” before Rosie came home and finally dropped herself right in it. Kev then promptly went outside and beat seven layers of crap out of John (unconvincing punching sound effects dubbed in on this one though) and promptly found himself arrested for assault. While Rosie (her teeth are astonishingly white, did anyone else notice?) goaded her mother to the point where she too, got a clip around the face…not very inspired though. The South wins the slapping stakes this year.

The icing on the cake was the Doctor Who Christmas Special, Voyage Of The Damned. The BBC continues to hike up the Hollywood production values with this show and this year was no exception with a plot that borrowed heavily from The Poseidon Adventure and of course Titanic (as well as hints and nudges from pretty much everywhere else), not to worry though it was a thoroughly enjoyable romp complete with Kylie Minogue along for the ride. David Tennant once again did his “instant chemistry” with his co-star and the diminutive one would have made a great assistant in the regular show. As always the effects were excellently done, and the show was paced excellently while still maintaining enough of the classic “Who” quotient to keep the die-hard fans happy. I won’t say too much because at this point there are going to be people who haven’t seen it and knowing the BBC there will of course be repeats giving people the opportunity to catch up without me spoiling the plot for them.