London is bloody expensive. Tell us something we don’t know. The statistics place us 5th in Europe’s most expensive cities league – just behind Paris, Reykjavik, Copenhagen and World Heavyweight Champions, Oslo. One day, we’ll get there, all we need is for a rich Russian businessman to buy up everything as far as the eye can…oh, wait…

Pah, what do those swatty statos know, anyway?! Surely there must be something for us to do without shelling out a fortune.

It is with this is mind that 020, the guardian angel to lost and confused Londoners, gleefully offers a weekly update for those without a penny to spare or a clue to spend it on. People who, even in their poorest of times, still possess a strong inclination toward ringing the world’s greatest city for everything it’s worth. Basically, anyone who shops at Primark. Which is to say, EVERYONE!

This week’s trio of treats involves probiotic yoghurt, royal babies raised by servants and a-ha-me-hearties.

Fruitstock, the free festival taking up residence in Regent’s Park this weekend (August 5th & 6th) is a gift to the capital from those nice folks at Innocent, the makers of yummy smoothies, yoghurts and fruit-based refreshments. If you’re tempted by the thought of picnic blankets, yoga lessons, poetry slamming and farmers’ markets, then this is the shindig for you. There are also a Pimms bus, a kids area, a knitting corner and a flirting zone for those that aren’t so ‘Innocent’. Needless to say (but we will anyway), it is music that attracts most of the 100,000+ expected crowd and you sun-worshipping revellers would find it hard to find a better (free) line-up that includes hip-hop legends Arrested Development and newcomer jazz revivalists The Puppini Sisters.

Fancy something a bit more concrete and cultural? Less of that namby-pamby in-a-field hippy stuff? How does a play on pavement grab you? A play about an abandoned baby too. Bertolt Brecht’s ‘The Caucasian Chalk Circle’ is performed daily until August 17th by Suzanna Rosenthal & The Steam Industry at MoreLondon’s Scoop (just next to City Hall). Accompanied by live music and song, this engrossing play should inspire everyone. And if not, the smell emanating from the Thames close-by should take care of that.

Perhaps history and knowledge are what you crave this week. Well, until Sunday (6th) you’ll be able to immerse yourself in the shadowy waters of the past during the last few days of East London Week. This event is being held at the Greenwich Tourist Information Centre, right next to the Cutty Sark, and Friday offers free tours of the Isle of Dogs and a swashbuckling pirate tale. Saturday is all about touring the Royal Docks, ExCeL London and Thames Barrier Park plus the opportunity to meet Abdul Miah, an Asian sailor on board the Fort William East India, telling tales of bravery and adventure. Sunday has tours of Deptford and stories told by a Victorian pub landlady from Sailortown. Of course, no self-respecting nautically-themed weekend could go on without a ‘man overboard hunt’ and a drink of medieval mead. Prizes to be won as well.