The BFI London Film festival is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, so are you going to splash out on a few tickets? Of course you’re not, you’re the kind of pikey that doesn’t mind waiting until the movies come out on DVD, aren’t you?

You’re probably also the type that sees great irony in the ?10 entrance fee to the “Affordable” Art Fair taking place this weekend in Battersea Park.

And even if you could raid your money jar and buy your way into Earls Court’s Metro Ski & Snowboard event this week, your love affair with snow this year would end right there.

Well, you’ve only got yourself to blame. You should’ve worked a little harder at school, then you wouldn’t be in this position.

Things are on the up, though, because your drunken old tramp of friend Free London has once again compiled a worthy list of activities that wont cost you the earth, including: work from beyond the desk, a birds eye view of London and a chance to point and laugh out loud at famous people without fear of incarceration.

First up, though, is a little something for the ladies. No, not the Ultimate Free Waxing and Chocolate Giveaway Weekend, but something very close. The Prince Charles Cinema and the mighty Blue Nun wine company have joined forces to bring you a small season of chick flick classics WITH a glass of wine. Absolutely free. This week’s show (on Thursday 26th) is Bridget Jones’ Diary, followed, in coming weeks, by a double bill from the undisputed heavyweight Queen of the Chick Flicks, Julia Roberts, in My Best Friend’s Wedding and Pretty Woman. Tears guaranteed.

For the more forward thinking Londoner, this is the final week of an exhibition that is relevant to everyone. We all work in London, but do we all realise what we’re missing out on? Apparently, 35 per cent of the world’s top companies have a workforce that operates outside the boundaries of the office. With major advances in technology and a general understanding that interaction at the office is actually a good thing (so they say), The Office exhibit at the New London Architecture building explores the changing dynamics of office space from chicken farm to free range. Closing next Saturday (28th), it includes the mother of all desks at the home of nouveau advertising, Mother, and a law firm with a roof garden/sleeping pod/glass-walled/wifi office complex. Well done them.

Something else that might interest the forward-thinking, ex-ravers of London is the Future London arena at Covent Garden Piazza. Between Friday and Sunday (20th-22nd), it will be showcasing Captain Ken’s Big Bag of Cleaning Products as he attempts to Mr Sheen the entire city of dirt, grime and noise whilst promoting green spaces and recycling. Ah, love Ken. You almost want to cuddle him. Cuddly Ken.

If you like a bit of snapshot photography in your leisure time (you filthy buggers) then pop down to the Making Spaces exhibit at 30 Spital Square – just off Spitalfields Market, oddly enough. You have until Wednesday (25th) to see the multitude of photographers and videographers who are displaying the barrel-O’laughs day-to-day moments taken within the Square Mile. Pictures by a complete nutter who has chose ‘dangling from a helicopter on a rope with a camera’ as his A-level subject at school are included; aswell as the best images from the latest Shoot City event featuring over 500 normal Londoner’s perspectives of the City. Some of whom are friends to Free London (what, it has friends??!)

To see life from the teeth-and-insincerity side of the lens, why not be part of a recording of the Channel 4 show, 8 Out Of 10 Cats this coming Thursday? The producers are (desperately) looking for studio gigglers and gaffawers to fill their audience with joy on all of their upcoming shows. The program’s previous guest list includes the totally-not-gay David “gold swimming badge” Walliams, Christian “Jack” Slater “Nicholson”, and Chantelle “day job, what day job” Preston-Shagger. Plus, you get to laugh at Jimmy Carr’s big fat funny face. It’s so round! (Follow the link below for details)