We know that we don’t, apparantly, need a boyfriend in 2005. We know that our girlfriends should come first, we should value an education and a career – and if a man comes into our life at a timely point, and is willying to adjust to our way of living, (in other words, accepting:
a) Regular cocktail nights with the girls where the size of his manhood may be discussed
b) No hard feelings against our vibrators
c) Our un-dying love towards shoes)
then sure, a boyfriend can come in handy. But honestly, deep down – is that all? Is a boyfriend just handy when your favourite handbag breaks down and you need something else wrapped around your arm? Here`s why women really need a boyfriend, even in 2005:
1. You don`t have to be afraid your sex partner is going to run out of batteries, leaving you running to the shops mid-way.
2. Being in love is the best vitamin. Get a boyfriend and save serious money on hair, beauty and dieting products. No kidding.
3. He finds you cute when you don`t know how the different remote controls interconnect, when your driving skills lack the essentials or when you, after having attended an Excel-course at work, still don`t know how to add a new row.
4. He actually likes your cooking. Or at least pretends, for fear of not getting laid later on.
5. He`s the easiest person to please in the world, which makes you feel like Superwoman. We don`t know what women were taught for years in housewife-classes, when all it really boils down to is giving him:
c) A bed to sleep in
6. He`ll remind you that “actually, sweetheart. Honestly. You do have enough shoes”. He might even remember the ones you bought and “forgot” about because you left the bag in that dark hallway where, you know, there might be spiders.
7. Yes, we know spiders are not dangerous. They can not harm us. And yes, we should be able to get them out of the way ourselves. But is it not nice to just be able to stand in the sofa looking cute while your boyfriend brings out the animal instinct in himself and gets rid of it for you?
8. Boyfriend + animal instinct = reason enough to need boyfriend. Can there be anything sexier than a man looking at you with eyes filled with lust, ready to eat you as his dinner, like a nice piece of meat? Grr.
9. Having a boyfriend is the best way to re-live your childhood. Play-wrestling in bed, trips to London Zoo to look at the elephants, calling each other silly names you`d thought you`d outgrown at the age of 11… You know there`s nothing more fun.
10. You don`t even have to feel guilty about spending a weekend in bed. When it`s spent hiding behind the duvet, just the two of you, being served breakfast in bed at midday and lying naked next to each other while reading the Sunday newspaper – could anything that good ever cause guilt? I did not think so.
12. There`s no better way to strut the underwear you spent so much money on. In fact, what IS the point of gorgeous underwear and no boyfriend? Who could you then show it off to, knowing that it might lead to a multiple orgasm? If it hadn`t been for boyfriends, Agent Provocateur would probably go bankrupt. Which again, is reason enough to stick to old-fashioned traditions and have a boyfriend.
13. Last, but not least – there`s nothing better than a warm, naked male body in bed on a cold autumn night. Honestly. It`s the best damn duvet in the world.
14. And oh, boyfriends bring chocolate and flowers. They also take you to your favourite restaurant. And tell you they love you.
Off the record, there`s nothing girls love more than to be loved.