Its only January and this year’s reality TV train has already pulled out of the station. First out of the traps is Celebrity Big Brother with the usual collection of Z list misfits and oddities. As is always the case there is usually one candidate for notoriety and there is no shortage this year.

Those that have already tuned in will have witnessed the antics of Donny “Who?” Tourette’s self proclaimed shouter with punk metallists Towers Of London. It’s the latest in a series of strong media pushes to bring this little lot to public attention but so far there is little evidence of a hit to cement their reputations.

Other candidates include Ken Russell, famed 70’s film director who brought us the likes of Women In Love, Tommy and The Devils. At 79 he has shown he is more likely to bring an air of befuddlement to proceedings and has already managed to blanche the complexion of some female contestants by getting ready for bed without first considering whether there was anyone else in the room.

Then there is Danielle Lloyd a former glamour model and former Miss England who as well as being the partner of football player Teddy Sheringham is most famous for losing her title as a result of an ill timed photo shoot for Playboy. Next there is Shelpa Shetty considered by some to have the finest figure in Bollywood, not exactly a household name but a superstar in the Bollywood film scene since she was in her late teens.

The inclusion of a tabloid hack in the form of Carole Malone might seem like a pretty uninspired one, however her previous views on reality television have been nothing less than scathing. Her presence in the house marks her as the type of person she previously took great delight in lambasting.

Scraping the barrel a little deeper brings us Jermaine Jackson, one time member of The Jacksons. A somewhat less controversial choice than his more (in)famous brother Michael but interesting all the same if only for the fact that he honestly doesn’t seem to have a clue what’s going on.

Seventies pop singer Leo Sayer is up next, one of the most unnerving sights of the show so far has been seeing Leo in his pyjamas, like looking at a twelve year old with some form of bizarre aging disease. Still he seems relatively harmless (but potentially with a built in annoyance factor).

The boy/girl/teeny band fraternity are more than well catered for with two candidates crawling from the cooled wreckage of their former projects. H (Ian Watkins) who has apparently reinvented himself as an actor following the dissolution of Steps along with Jo O’Meara from S Club 7 whose role so far seem to be avoiding Donny and complaining a lot. They always said she was the S Clubber with talent…no evidence as of yet discovered but then I’m actually dubious about whether men actually landed on the moon.

Bringing up the rear in this little selection are my two favourites (for the moment), Cleo Rocos will be more familiar to people of a certain vintage who remember her from The Kenny Everett show in the eighties. Now making a living as much from a writing as well acting (although I don’t profess to have seen her in much) time seems to have been good to her. In much the same way as it has been to Dirk Benedict, most famous for his role as “Face” in The A Team he actually seems to be almost as suave in reality and those iron on smooth good looks seem to have been relatively well preserved since his halcyon days.

So there you have the contenders. So far Donny’s antics have earned him the most screen time. He’s jumped into the Jacuzzi fully clothed (ruining a mic and earning his first ticking off from BB), intimidated the women with his leering, and shared a bed with Leo Sayer (aww….bless like getting under the sheets with a glove puppet). The beauty of this incarnation show is the fact that a number of them don’t seem to know what’s going on. Of course there are some who are only too aware of what this show could bring them (and remember folks reality television can be a poisoned chalice) namely the ex singers who are clearly looking for a set of jump leads on their ailing careers.

Oh and just before you think that’s your lot, Big Brother veteran Jade Goody is allegedly going back to the house, her role will be to adopt a housemate and take them into the house next door as part of her “Big Brother Family”….

D?j? vu anyone? You’d better brace yourself because it looks like 2007 is going to show no signs of abating the flood of reality shows coming to our screens.