If you’re desperately looking for a job, the first thing you need to know when you arrive in London is where everything is. There are different ways to do this, all tried and tested by those before you – I’m going to explain a little bit about a few of them.

The Underground Map Method

This is the most common method among new Londoners and some never divert away from this proven winner. All you need to do is head to your nearest Underground Station and when buying your first weekly ticket (or Oyster Card for the first time) you’ll be given your very own ticket holder. Some people have been known to use this as a wallet, taking full use of its slim design. I can understand the lure of this; the benefit and practicality of it all, it’s so nice to head out on a warm Friday evening and take only your trusty Underground wallet and mobile phone (most girls reading this could never leave the house with such little).

Look into the back pocket of your new wallet and you will notice a very useful map of the underground. It folds out to a nice size, large enough to see all the stations of the underground. The clever people will be able to fold it back fold for fold back to its original shape – and those with PDAs (personal desktop assistants, sometimes known as fat mobile phones nowadays) can take full advantage of the London Transport website and download it for electronic viewing. Handy for when you’re some place where light is an issue.

I’d like to know who puts the maps in to the pockets, does London Transport outsource this to sweat shops in some poor third world nation?

Once you have your map open, you need to study this map, it’ll be invaluable over time but you always must remember…

Caution: Objects in this map may be closer than they appear.

And of course some may be further. What I’m trying to say is although it’s a very well designed map and you may take one back home to your own country and place it in a frame to show friends and family (and reminisce about the day your met lover at a particular London spot) it’s not to scale. This is the downside to this method although many visitors never realise this.

The Peddling Method

Getting yourself a bike is not a difficult task in London and you can even pick up a cheap one if you look around (no, I don’t mean pinching one). This is by far the best of all methods as you get to stitch everything together, you’ll see where Holborn is and how close it is to Covent Garden, you’ll have the thrill of finding new routes everyday and discovering bars and restaurants you never knew existed. With a bike you’ll become a friend of London too – you won’t be smelling body odor from commuters on trains, now you’ll have your own.

If you end up working in a swish bank in the City (Liverpool Street / Bank sort of direction) or Canary Wharf then you just might find they have a place to put your bike and they may even have showers for you to clean up before a day in front of Google.

Obviously it goes without saying, this method too has its downsides. You won’t be wanting to cycle to work in the West End (Piccadilly Circus / Leicester Square sort of area) if you live in Watford. You’ll also have to realise how damn dangerous the roads can be for a mere cyclist. However you’ll always have the memory of riding through some of London’s enchanting parks to arrive at work each morning.

The Bus Method

It’s usually a particular type of person that tries this method, they’re usually know-it-alls and think they’ve discovered something that nobody else ever has. They think they’re the only people who have ever realised you can actually get buses from pretty much any place in London to any other place in London. They’ll also explain to you that you can see all the monuments, nice places around London as well as learning the routes of the roads.

It’s right, you can see a lot by sitting at the top of a bus and yes, you can save a lot of money too – but if you’re in a rush you won’t get anywhere fast. You may just end up being late for that interview, you may get drenched waiting for the bus to come or worse still – you may not be able to get on it as it’s too crowded during peak hour.

The Smart Method

I like to employ the Underground (aka the tube) when I need to get to places which are further than a few miles away – it seems the quickest and most reliable, especially if you’re not sure of bus routes. The bike method is great if your place of work is not too far away and the weather is good – take advantage of this during summer months when you know the Underground will be hot and unbearable and chances are high that the service could falter. If you know someone who has been living in London all their life, tell them where you’re going and they may well give you a tip which will get you there faster. As mentioned before, sometimes stations on the map which are on different lines may seem far apart but are actually within walking distance and can actually be quicker to walk than to change lines.