Whittington, East European immigrants and multinational university
graduates come to London looking for the golden streets. And perhaps
there is one – although even the London 2012 Olympic Committee have
made no mention of this in the marketing information.

Then again, even if you do manage to find work in the city, you have
high prices and inefficient transport systems to face and that is
before you reach the trendy bars selling Leffe Extra Cold Super Volume
Double Priced beer. As you can see it would be easy for me to copy the
style of lazy journalists which Londoners read portraying the negative
side of London life and tempting as it is to be a rant merchant on my
first article I shall avoid this trap for one simple reason: 

It’s rubbish. 

If you live in London you need to know this:


in London are expensive for the simple reason that this is the capital
city and there is no benefit to just letting a load of riff-raff in. If
you want a house in London then you damn well have to earn it. I feel
this gives a minor sense of achievement in an otherwise pointless and
unremarkable unexamined life. The fact that the average price of a
one-bedroom flat is £150,000 and a 2-bedroom terraced house being
£200,000 is an incentive for people to live together and get married
purely to increase their buying power.

As part of
a national campaign to promote family life anyone that cannot afford a
house under the London Loneliness Act 2004 is required to either marry
or be classed as a pariah and then be forced out of the City Walls by
martial law and ordered to rent in Peckham.


people hate the disorganised and inefficient public transport service.
London buses are like buses – you see no bus for 20 minutes and then 2
taxis come along at once. Some people are so used to a slow and delayed
service that when a train is actually on time they have this sudden
urge to call their bosses and say that they are late because of train
delays when really they just overslept. I often find it is a good idea
to sit next to those people and call my own boss saying in a loud voice
that I will be in work early because the train was on time.

If you want to take public transport in London there is only one way to do this.

Just Turn Up.

If you just turn up you cannot be upset if the train is delayed or if
you have to wait 10 minutes, but you are glad if the train pulls in as
you reach the platform. This way you are never disappointed.

Similarly, people complain about overcrowding, but it would not be
anything new to mention that the reason London is crowded is because it
is a city – if you want quiet, fresh air and conversation amongst
strangers you have to live in a village.

Life in General

Life in general is expensive, but then you are a free agent able to
choose where you go and what you do. If you don’t think something is
worth the money – don’t buy it. Suffer a little hardship if you are
making a stand otherwise keep yourself quiet and your moneybag open.


Market forces / Horses for Courses / Mood Swings and Roundabouts rule the world.